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Positive Parenting Tips
If only 10 tips to be given to parents to improve their parenting skills, then it should be followed. Why ? Because it’s a mini-synthesis of the best books on positive parenting tips for parents and discoveries in neuroscience.
Follow these good parenting tips to be a fantastic parents.
1- To listen rather than to speak:
To know how to listen is essential because one of the most soothing and fulfilling factors in life is to be understood. The main way to realize that we are understood is to be listened to carefully and to receive signs. For that, there is no need to say a thousand words. A reformulation of what we hear is enough. Be careful, a reformulation is not advice or judgment.
2- Help children to put words on their emotions:
At least 4 reasons for this:
A) When we can put words on emotions, we reduce the affect when they are unpleasant and we amplify the intensity when they are pleasant.
B) the emotions are real for the children. If we do not listen to them with respect, we deny their reality and they understand that an emotion in them is not legitimate. Their self-esteem takes a hit.
C) Unpleasant emotions are triggered when a need is not or no longer satisfied. To recognize children’s emotions is to guide them to verbalize requests related to their needs.
D) To listen and legitimize emotions is to allow children to do the same with their peers and thus develop their social intelligence. To help children acquire a vocabulary of emotions, observe, listen to and insert the words of the emotions expressed by your child: “I see that you are sad”, “I hear how happy you are”, etc. Another positive parenting tip, ask regularly how your child feels, what he feels and where he feels when his emotions are expressed.
3- Encourage efforts by describing what you see without judging or labeling:
Children love to be shown their actions. Normal, it allows them to replay the film of their exploits (and thus to mentally train them to reproduce) and they get a proof of your attention. This is their true reward. You have seen what they are doing and you have not dropped a sentence (“good” or “bad”)! Thus, “I see that you painted the shutters of this house in purple” is much better than “It’s super pretty! “.
4- Leading by example:
Far beyond speeches, children look at us, listen to us and imitate us. This is the advantage of being equipped with mirror neurons. So, whenever you can, show the example, act as you want your child to act. And if you really want to open your mouth, describe what you are doing. This is a valuable subtitle for children and it invites adults to stay connected to the present (less mental escape = more happiness). Examples of application: express your own emotions with words and show how you manage them.
5- Breathe and smile:
Breathing is our lifeline. When we focus on it and make it deep, we send a message to our brain that acts on our body: “No stress, everything is fine! “. And if you add a caring smile, you become a positive source of energy that helps children (and you) stay optimistic.
6- Keeping a diary (+ gratitude):
Writing makes it possible to give meaning to our thoughts and to decomplex the situations (thus to less brooding and stressing). In addition, if you book each evening a time to write the 5 pleasures of the day, you will quickly realize that life will become more and more beautiful. It is the power of gratitude. This ritual of gratitude will revolutionize the life of the whole family! !
7- Set rules instead of forbidden:
Children prefer rules (and adults too)! Imagine that in a board game box you have a notice with everything that is forbidden to do rather than what is allowed. Would you manage to play? Following the same logic, tell your children to “speak softly” rather than not scream.
8- The power of hugs:
Instead of putting away when you’re upset, let’s do the opposite! Cuddling has immense power: reducing stress, developing empathy, increasing confidence, strengthening attachment, … In short, that happiness!
Reading is a gift for our brain. It allows you to meditate, to escape, to change perspective, to learn to manage our emotions, to give us ideas, to heal, … reading contributes to our balance. And if you do not like to read, opt for audio books. It’s great ! And if our children see us reading, guess what they will do? And that’s good because reading is a facilitator of academic success.
10- Parents in progress:
No need to put pressure on yourself by saying that there are good and bad parents (they are labels). The common point between all is love. So feel this love in itself by reflexes of benevolence and tolerance and radiate outwards. It’s the “we” that counts. If we rape ourselves, we judge, we denigrate, we put ourselves in a position of defense, attack or flight. So let’s do our best, become aware of our status as parents (or parents in progress), stay open to change, learn and trust our children. They have incredible resources. Oh yes, I forgot, we learn all life